From my hands I could give you, something that I made.
Thou and no other.
His graces words in the carriage the other day, lent to me a thoughful mind when he dropped me off at my house after the incident at the garden of the palace.
I came into Naamah's service in the arms of two, and finished my marque, in her honour in the arms of two. An oddity I would think for one of my house now that I look back on it.
Thou and no other we say. When you cross our steps and enter into the house that love built we are there for the patron. Love and devotion. I have never found it hard to love anyone. Even those that I dislike. For everyone is worthy of love and deserves it. Sometimes, a patron will ask for two of our number when they come to taste Naamah's love. Easy enough, for it is the patron that we are there to please, and to love them.
But what happens when it is the other way around. When it becomes 'Thou... and one other' So used to focusing upon the needs of one, that when there are two, it becomes confusing. No, not confusing, for I have done such in the past. But difficult. This is no other of my house working with me in tandem to bring pleasure to one. It is three, working as one, to bring pleasure to all. There is the need in me to please one, then the other, and back and forth because I find it easier than to let myself go, or to try and please both.
Have I, as a courtesan become incapable of .. taking pleasure for myself, or of pleasing others not in her name? Of letting myself think of my own pleasure first before anothers?
What of when I do something, in the name of love for another, that I believe they would ask of me. Is there a line that must be drawn?
Though and no other... Thou and one other.
Can the heart truly love.. more than one at the same time? Or do I just... hope so? Am I truly loved, as I imagine I am, as I wish to be? Or am I just imagining such and content to take my small little piece.
Am I doing this because I think it will please him? Or because I want to do it?
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