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September 2008

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Sep. 12th, 2008

Night Court Flower

Take my hand, lift me up so that I can fly with thee

I need to center myself again.

So much, so many little and big things. Peter has ventured to Namarre, to the temples. He goes once a year, and I am in charge of the house. No time to visit elsewhere with the time I usually have. patrons come and go. The Macaw has yet to be named, but is faring well in the house and amelie has already taught the beast to speak "I love you" to patrons, and to speak "belle Jeanette" The latter Jeanette finds amusing.

We have quarreled, for once I tasted the bite of jealousy. I shouldn't, but I did. The solution to such, is there, within reach, but whether to take it or not. It was spoken, many years ago, that nothing would be done, That was it, a patron gift. Does time change things, would aught be different these days? I can try and find out, I could, or I can respect wishes. What harm will come of either action.

I pray to naamah for her. For things to be sorted, for the way of the right to be found.

Aug. 22nd, 2008

black and white

she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings

She yearns for her. Ah Elua, it is nothing I can do to help her, and nor do I know how to comfort her with such. I never had one to remember. She passed when I was three and all I know of her is that I look like her.

A milestone and.. the one you want to witness is not there. How many more in this city go through such? Those on the hill? The one you want to witness the worth of your life, and to not hear word.

No wonder all is happening as it has. I pray a well, that it is forgetfulness. For her sake, for the sake of the others. A prayer to Azza, to Eisheth, Naamah, Elua, all the companions. A prayer heard loud and far for safety of one dear to one who's heart I hold close.

Andreas is growing into a prat. Supposedly a version of what Gautier was when he was his age. Elua. I hope that Andreas turns quickly into what I know. Arrogance does not fit him well. He is growing up, and trying to find his place, a marque's beginning limned upon his flesh brings change, and he is struggling to come to peace with it.

I miss him. Prosper. I miss his arms, the afternoons in the kitchen and speaking over a fresh loaf of bread, the confiding of the things that worry, fear, gnaw.

Aug. 18th, 2008

black and white

The secrets that you keep are ever ready

As a Heliotrope, should I be falling over my heart for all patrons? Should I be falling in love with a fencepost each time I see one? A gift is a gift, but only for the right person. Better framed it seems, and never used, i'll never know, until it makes it's way back to me.

I feel tossed sometimes. Little pieces here and there, bring me closer to a understanding of the whole, Just doubt, and sometimes disbelief make it hard. revealed by one, shown by another.

And my life progresses. in the arms of patron, friend, lover, whichever crosses my path. Duties of house and heart rule my days.We are allowed our quiet times in life yes?

Aug. 9th, 2008

gabriellegarden

Watch out, you just might go under.

Another d'Aiglemort.

He came while I was recovering, Or more, we met in the baths with the princess. He has not come to the house though, seeking an assignation, using his name as an almost right to take me as patron. He asks questions though, and thanks me for my devotion to his familial name. I need no thanks, for the love I bear them. He has a hard path though, to bear the name a good mark instead of bad. The people of this city bore the bedroom activities of My Duc as the mirror of his political duties and seem to blame him for the discord and upheaval that plagues the province.  War did that. A lack of successor is transgression, but not any more grave than Namarre or Eisande.

There is only the vestiges of a twinge now, and if one knows how to look, the barest of traces of the accident. A far cry from what Marcello saw and was ready to give as good as I got if someone had dared to lay a hand on me and cause such. I have never seen him in such a fury and know for truth that if someone had done harm to me, he would brandish blade and call them out.

Ariadnh seeks to throw a fete, to celebrate the arrival of spring and life. She asked me for aide to help, and with hope,  I can give her such now that I am not in the state I was. Life as always, it seems, is never without it's interesting paths. These days, it seems to be more interesting. And once more it seems, I share a patron with someone who is not of Elua's ilk. Will this one too take him from me? If she does, then I am content, for he would love him, as much as the other was loved.

Aug. 5th, 2008

black and white

Trying to solve life’s mysteries.

Sweet Elua I can barely move, or breath.  Just muscles I was told and  I have soaked for a days age. That had never happened before and I pray it never does such again. To note though, the ceiling of my room is uninspirational. I shall have to change that. All is well. Save my aches. I pray it stays that way.

Jul. 23rd, 2008

black and white

really, life is dandy.

I've tasted only the surface of the depth of his cruelty. If I could have been swallowed by the earth last eve, after the Night Court Council, I would have prayed it so. No better in my actions than the former Dowayne Bryony. That is what he implied. And in truth It is not, expect perhaps the degree to which I've done it. I do not know if they have met, and I think, perhaps, that I will not know until he is ready to let me know. 

So much approval seeking at the council last eve. Evangeline seeking the council approval to take the title of Dowayne. The Jasmine seeking approval to be recognized as Dowayne. Dowayne Mandrake seeking approval to be the Emissary to the Crown and Council. The former Dowayne Bryony seekign the approval to place Faustine no Bryony as the second. Is that all that we do? Give our approval? For things that... truly, do not need it in the first place.

There was the one thing, that was not approval. Banning of the Aragonian with whom the Bryony had as a patron. I could not vote either way in truth. She commited a grave sin, and let her anger get the best of her. Over 15 ducats. Naamah help me. If fifteen ducats is a pittance ot her, then everyone should be in Bryony. We'd all make our marques in no time. But thne, he as well, retaliated and caused the scene on the longest night. They are both at fault, greviously so, and I could not make a choice one way or the other. We will decide, should he ever grace our steps, whether to gain him entrance or no. For we love, unconditionally, even fools who get with child as revenge, or men who cannot learn that to love a bryony, you will surely loose, they always win.

Jul. 21st, 2008

gabriellegarden

Flames to dust, lovers to friends.

I am sure, that the coming weeks will be ones hard to endure for my actions. How dare I, he asked. I dared because I love. Bitter medicine. I returned to my house, instead of staying like he had instructed me to. I can recuperate at Heliotrope as good as I could in Camellia. He was upset, moreso than I had seen before when I laid down my promise. If he follows through, he follows through, if he does not... Well. Then I was the better for knowing what little part of him that I did. For now, I rest, get well, throw myself back into the house to keep my time occupied. He will do, and she will do, what they will and my part in this has finished.

Jul. 16th, 2008

Prayer

we were young and we'd never compromise.

 So much pain, and in so many. If I could take it all from them, bear it upon my own shoulders, I would. But I cannot and instead I can only sit and listen. I learned a little more about someone I love and someone I didn't know. 

But now, i'm wrapped in blankets and my nose is raw from some auge that leaves me barely enough energy to write. The days of walking about with my cloak on my arm and not around me, when I used the cold to focus. Thank the companions that my room was fixed in enough time and I am no longer in what they jokingly called the mausoleum. Creams and blues, greens. Even the bed was replaced. No longer a tomb but a garden. I sit in front of the window bundled and watch the sun's light pour over the snow below and then crawl back to bed.  Things will be aright. They have to be. They have survived far worse, far worse and come out the other path still shining. Surely, they can do the same this time. I pray to naamah in my sickbed that they do.

Jul. 11th, 2008

black and white

This years love had better last...

 I'm finally getting around to redecorating the room. Gautier spoke that it reminded him of a mausoleum in Caerdicca. I agreed. So I have been making the drapes to cover the walls, and if it's black in color then it goes. I so dearly loved prosper but I could not understand when I stepped foot in the room how he lived in this room. Cream and blue, green. Cream draperies along the wall with blue stripes and green stripes at the bottom. Some of the furniture is being replaced. Another can have it. All said, I hope that it will be ready soon, and perhaps, not feeling so large and echoing every sound. The window though, looking out upon the garden. I adore it.

My natality comes and goes, another year passed quietly. How swiftly the years move and it suprises me. I sat upon the summit, buried within my cloak and watched the sunrise. My twenty first year, today. Would that this year, be as eventful and loving as last year.

Jul. 7th, 2008

black and white

I don't care what they say...

 I'm night unto bursting. I do not know if can do this.  If I can last.

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